Simon and Schuster/Gallery Books
Author: Niecy Nash
Book Review by: Melody Charles
Actress, comedian, web series host and….matchmaker extraordinaire? Yes, Ms. Niecy Nash is ALLA that, and with her first-ever book, IT’S HARD TO FIGHT NAKED, the Reno 911! and Soul Man star adds ‘author’ to the list, putting her two cents in about getting the most of the dating scene, your relationship and yes, the newlywed stage and beyond.
Experience is the most effective teacher, and with 16 years of a prior marriage, a divorce, three children, years of singles party hosting under her belt and yes, a second husband in the mix, Ms. Nash uses a Sincere Sister Mode to break down what she’s learned singleness, dating, finding eligible men, getting to exclusivity and how to act after exchanging “I do’s.”
With humor and honesty, Ms. Nash is bold, brash and even borderline TMI about a variety of topics, such as…
STARTING OVER: “…you see, you need to be whole before you give up the hole. I know that sounds raw, but…the decision to share your body with a man includes sharing your soul, so you have to be strategic about the ‘soul ties’ you create.”
WANTS VS. NEEDS- “Don’t mistake your preferences in men for your priorities: preferences are those things that you think really matter, but haven’t done you any good yet.”
SEX (WITH YOU) IS OVERRATED- “Do you honestly think that the average forty-year-old who has been having sex since he was fifteen is going to get with you and instantly decide that it’s the best he’s ever had and change his intentions? Nay, I say.”
WHY SHE STOPPED TALKNG TO EXES- [My husband] Jay put it to me another way: “Anytime you reach back around to a guy you used to be with, even if he knows you’re with somebody, he’s going to see that as an open door, a chance, possibility. ‘All I gotta do is wear her down long enough.’ I changed my number the next day.”
CREATING RITUALS AS A COUPLE- “We observe all our firsts—the first time we met, our first date, the first time he helped me to tke out my weave…we throw a party for just about everything except for the first time I met his mama. That didn’t go as well as it could have.”
If you’re wondering where the TMI part is, you’ll find it starting at Chapter Three, which is titled “Stomach Full, Penis Empty.” Seriously, because here is where Niecy shares the sexual technique that keeps Jay at her daily beck and call: “You see, my husband is lucky to be woken by a special rise-and-shine every morning—yes ladies, every morning and yes, that kind of rise and shine. We call it the ‘alarm clock.'” And if that’s not enough, her husband Jay closes out the book with extra advice from a male perspective that’s just a tad less explicit: “She makes me feel like a king—did she mention that she kisses my feet? And I kiss her everything, because she’s my queen!”
If you’re a fan of Niecy, whether you’re single or not, this book is chock-full of laugh-out-loud anecdotes and ways to keep you optimistic in life and relationships. Some may find her to-the-point sex talk to be a bit much and the suggestion of using feminine wiles to settle a disagreement (hence the title) may make even the most flexible feminist see all kinds of red. But Niecy Nash’s book is just like her comedy style and therefore, worth the read and re-read.